The Key to Romance (or Kiss My Ass Naked Butt Man)

Chuck’s marriage had lost its spice. He felt the connection he once had with his wife disappearing. So, he brought home a magnetic poetry kit that had an assortment of romantic and erotic words. Chuck imagined he and his wife could leave tantalizing musings for each other on the refrigerator to rekindle their connection. Day one he awoke to this message from his wife: "kiss my ass naked butt man."

Despite rumors to the contrary, romance isn’t dead. An online study conducted by Yankelovich in February 2008, explored ways of connecting among 1001 couples. The study found that American couples are lacking ze romance and they want more! In fact, 76% of those surveyed said they wish they could add more romance to their relationship.

So, what exactly is romance? The dictionary says it’s “the ardent emotional attachment between people.” Romance is almost as hard to define as love. Professor Richard Wiseman conducted a survey among 6500 men and women all over the world in July 2009. He found that there is a huge rift between what men and women believe is romantic.

“Contrary to what many men believe, you do not have to spend large sums of money to woo a woman -it really is the thought that counts,” Wiseman said.

Men mistakenly believe women value expensive gifts or sexy lingerie as the ultimate in romance. But that is not the case. Women, in fact, prefer little loving touches, such as a morning cup coffee in bed or a gentle foot rub or a relaxing hot bath. And these romantic gestures cost little to nothing.

In the Yankelovich study, people said what was lacking most from their relationships was intimate conversations (41%) and time together (40%) and sex (45%.) Even with all of the communication technology options available today, many people feel less connected than they would like to be with their significant other. One possible solution is to bring on the romance because romance fuels connection.

So, what’s a romance-starved nudnik to do? Dr. Wiseman had women rank romantic gestures and the top ten may surprise you.

1) Cover her eyes and lead her to a lovely surprise.
2) Whisk her away somewhere exciting for the weekend.
3) Write a song or poem about her.
4) Tell her that she is most wonderful woman that you have ever met.
5) Run her a relaxing bath after she has had a bad day at work.
6) Send her a romantic text or email, or leave a note around the house.
7) Wake her up with breakfast in bed.
8) Offer her a coat when she is cold.
9) Send her a large bouquet of flowers, or box of chocolates, at her workplace.
10) Make her a compilation of her favorite music.

Now with all this research data in mind, men –it’s time to draw the bath, ply your woman with compliments, bring on the chocolate truffles and rustle up some va va voom.