Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It's Time Marriage Checked Into Rehab


I’ve lost faith in men. I’ve lost faith in marriage. In fact, I’m coming to believe that men just aren’t cut out for fidelity. Face it ladies. Whether they have a penchant for white house interns, TV staffers, strippers, co-stars, models or just hookers in the back seat of a car (ala Hugh Grant), men just can’t seem to “keep it in their pants.” Even Fidel Castro, whose very name means faithful, was reputed to sleep with at least two women a day in his heyday.


It’s in the news everywhere you look. The cheaters club is growing by leaps and bounds. Recent inductees include: Hugh Grant, Bill Clinton, David Letterman, John Edwards, Jon Gosselin (of Jon & Kate fame), Tiger Woods, and most recently Jesse James. Membership is cheap; unless of course it costs you your marriage.


There’s no denying that cheating is ubiquitous. And like most everything we are bombarded with regularly, we become a bit numb to it. After all, what’s a guy to do when he commits a crime of chromosomes? Can he really be held accountable? The guy says he’s sorry, he made a mistake. The woman wonders if she ultimately caused his straying. The offender may seek counseling. And in extreme cases of “sexual addiction” (cough cough), the horny bastard, I mean cheater, may seek long term rehab (hats off to Tiger) But odds on, he will do it again.


A chronic male cheater I know put it this way. “If I can’t get a good meal at home, I can’t be faulted for going to Taco Bell, right? Same goes for sex.” Not surprisingly, after a good deal of “take-out taco” he was finally kicked-out of his home.


Many women wonder if monogamy is just not natural for men. Others, including famed sexpert Dr.Ruth, say that looking at infidelity rates among celebrities and public figures may not be an accurate representation of the real world. After all, politicians and celebrities are put in tempting situations more often. I for one, wonder if Lorena Bobbit got to the root of the problem when she cut off husband John’s offending part. Because as long as a man has a little head, it will at times rule his big head.


Famed cheater Woody Allen, who married his adopted daughter, claimed “The heart wants what it wants.” What a romantic. I guess the “I had a woody,” defense wouldn’t have flown.


Odds are you or someone you know has been betrayed. Whether it’s the nature of the beast or just your particular beast, realize that you are not alone. In fact, you’re in good company. Welcome to our Dicked Ova Club --an ever growing group of women that represents every walk of life. Most recent inductees include Elin Woods, Elizabeth Edwards and Sandra Bullock. You could be in worse company!


Remember…95% of men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe!

No comments:

Post a Comment